Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
