White coat. Heels.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
