Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
