i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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