NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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