this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Randomize
