You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I met the friendliest cop last night
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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