that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
