I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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