No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
