AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
40s are totally the cure
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
