Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
