Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
