yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
