Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize