Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize