The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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