White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
