Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
