I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
