Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
