i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Randomize
