she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize