she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
