Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
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