What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
