turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
