3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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