Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
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