mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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