Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize