I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
