I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
