Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
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