im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
