Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
