is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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