While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.