Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize