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• (407): View more from Florida

  i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (909): View more from California

  i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...

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• (425): View more from Washington

  oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.

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• (323): View more from California

  I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"

  (1-618): View more from Illinois

  As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.

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