We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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