we're blogging at a bar
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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