is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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