There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize