do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
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No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize