Tell her she can't have a vagina
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
