she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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