the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
