Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
