I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
if only i could text you this smell
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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