I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
You are a genius and a whore.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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