he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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