he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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