I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
