Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize