Are we in a gay sports bar?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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